The world can seem cruel to people who are not assertive. Assertiveness is often lacking when you are not confident and find it difficult to express yourself. Fortunately, there are tips on how to be assertive.

Find the source of your lack of assertiveness

Do you find it hard to assert yourself because you lack confidence? Do you find it hard to say no? Find out why and where this behaviour comes from. It may come from your childhood or your adult experience, because you were under the influence of toxic people, for example. In any case, finding the origin of this difficulty will help you to see things a little more clearly.

Know who you are and what you want

To be able to assert yourself, you need to know yourself. Self-assertion requires a better knowledge of oneself, because to express oneself, one must know how to identify one's feelings, weaknesses, strengths and limitations.

Before asserting yourself in a specific situation, you must first know what you want and need. Then you can express it to others.

Express yourself clearly and use the "I" word

To be heard, you have to speak up! Whether in a conflict, a meeting or a debate, don't be afraid to make your point of view clear.

But whatever message you want to get across, it will be better understood if you deliver it firmly, but gently. You speak for yourself, not against the other person. If you are not happy with a situation, involve yourself in the conversation by using "I" rather than the accusatory "you": "I don't feel respected" rather than "you don't respect me", for example.

Talk about yourself in a positive way

Think carefully before you talk about yourself: "what an idiot" or "I'm incapable of" are like curses you cast on yourself. Being assertive means rephrasing your sentences in a positive way. Look for the good rather than the bad. Your successes rather than your failures.

Adapt your posture

Assertiveness also involves your physique, the way you stand, your gaze... Practise standing up straight, shoulders raised, head held high, supporting the gaze of your interlocutor, walking with a confident step and smiling, because your attitude influences your thinking.

Dare to say no

In order to become more assertive, you have to learn to say no, which is a difficult exercise for many people.

Assertiveness: Tips for becoming more assertive