(For when you’re on your own — and want to make the most of it)
Spending Christmas alone doesn’t have to mean feeling lonely or left out. It can be a different kind of holiday — one that’s quieter, intentional, and perhaps even more meaningful for you. If you’re facing the holidays solo this year — whether by choice, circumstance, or transition — this article is for you. We’ll explore why being alone at Christmas can be harder than expected, how to shift the story, and then dive into seven great things you can do to make it a good time (or even a great time).
Why being alone at Christmas can feel harder than it should
The festive season brings expectations: big meals, family gatherings, joyful laughter, gifts and “good times with people you love”. When those elements aren’t present, the emotional contrast can sting. The lights, carols, social invitations all underscore what’s supposed to be — which can amplify what’s actually happening.
A few reasons this can feel heavier:
- The expectation of joy and connection is strong — if you’re alone, the gap between expectation and reality can feel more personal.
- Routine disruption: Holidays often mean shifts in patterns (no commute, extended time off, more social posts) which can leave bigger holes if you’re solo.
- Cultural messaging: Media, social media and advertising emphasise togetherness, which can make solitude feel unusual even though it’s common.
- Grief or loss: If you’re alone because of a loss, separation, relocation or break-up, the holiday landscape can trigger additional emotional weight.
- Limited access to support: If friends or family live elsewhere, you may feel more isolated or out of sync.
The good news: being on your own doesn’t mean you have to simply “get through” Christmas. You can design it. You can choose it. You can celebrate it — on your own terms.
7 Great Things You Can Do When You’re Alone at Christmas
1. Create Your Own Ritual or Tradition
One of the most powerful ways to shift the holiday feeling is to build your ritual. It doesn’t need to mirror the large family feast you used to have — instead, ask: What would feel good to me?
- Pick a time (morning, afternoon, evening) and declare it your special moment.
- Perhaps it’s cooking your favourite meal, lighting a candle for someone you miss, writing a letter to yourself or someone else.
- Even simple small acts — brewing a great coffee, watching a movie you love, taking a long walk — become meaningful when done with intention.
When you create a ritual, you are telling yourself: “I matter. This day matters.” That sense of purpose can shift the tone from “resigned” to “chosen”.
2. Connect in Meaningful Ways — Even if From a Distance
Being physically alone doesn’t mean you’re socially or emotionally alone. The difference? Intentional connection.
- Schedule a video call or phone chat with someone you trust. Sharing the moment (even remotely) can make the holiday feel less solitary.
- Write a card, a note, an email to someone you haven’t spoken to. The act of reaching out can itself feel holiday-festive.
- Join a community event, a volunteer group, or an online “holiday together” gathering. Many organisations run inclusive meet-ups, especially for people alone.
- Invite someone to drop by — a friend, neighbour, acquaintance — for coffee, a walk, or just quiet company.
These connections don’t need to be elaborate. What matters is that you show up for yourself and others.
3. Do Something for Others
When you’re alone, one of the most rewarding strategies is to give — without expectation of immediate return. Giving shifts focus outward and can boost your own mood.
Ideas include:
- Volunteer at a local meal centre, charity drop-off or animal shelter. One organisation described how holiday volunteering gave structure and connection for people who were alone.
- Bake or cook something and share with a neighbour or friend who may also be alone.
- Donate time or money to a cause you care about.
- Offer your company — call someone you think might feel isolated, visit a nursing home, or check in on older neighbours.
When we contribute, we remember that community is still part of the holiday—even when we’re not in a large social gathering.
4. Treat Yourself Well: Self-Care & Comfort
Alone doesn't mean forgotten or neglected. This is your chance to treat yourself with kindness, attention and care.
- Set a comfortable, cosy space: lights, blanket, good food, favourite music or a film.
- Maintain healthy routines: sleep schedule, hydration, light movement. Holidays often disrupt these, but the more intentional you are, the better you’ll feel.
- Do something you’ve been putting off: reading a book, starting a hobby, taking a long bath, going for a walk in nature.
- Reflect: self-journal, note what you’re grateful for, process what this holiday means for you.
- Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up — joy, sadness, gratitude, nostalgia. All are valid.
When you care for yourself, you create a steady base. Being alone doesn’t have to equal neglected.
5. Re-frame the Day: Choose Your Narrative
Instead of letting the holiday happen to you, you can choose how you experience it.
- Re-label the day: not “Christmas I’m spending alone,” but “My Christmas — a quiet reflection,” “My holiday reboot”, “Solo Christmas adventure.”
- Choose your agenda. If big social gatherings feel stressful, skip them. If you like being on the move, maybe plan a solo outing: museum, nature walk, special meal.
- Focus on what you have rather than what you lack. A single day of peace, a book you enjoy, a clear schedule, your own space.
- Decide what you will not do: scrolling through social media comparing, holding onto obligations you dislike, forcing yourself into “happy” performance.
When you take control of the narrative, the holiday becomes yours — not something you endure, but something you design.
6. Explore Something New: Experiences Over Expectations
Being alone gives you freedom to try something new — without compromise. This can turn your holiday into an opportunity rather than a gap.
- Try a workshop, class or event you’ve never done: cooking, craft, dance, outdoor adventure.
- Travel somewhere solo for the day or weekend if possible (or even just explore a neighbourhood you rarely visit).
- Experiment with alternative rituals: meditative walk at dawn, reflection circle, a “holiday book” reading list, or even a themed film marathon picked by you.
- Create your own “solo holiday bucket list” focused on experiences rather than objects.
New experiences can spark joy and shift the holiday rhythm away from “following tradition” into “making something special.”
7. Reflect & Plan for What Comes After
Once the holiday day(s) pass, it’s helpful to reflect rather than just move on. Being alone often gives more space for introspection and preparation.
- Write down what went well and what you might change next time.
- Note insights: What did you enjoy? What felt challenging? What would you do differently?
- Plan for connection: if you found this solo year meaningful, how will you carry parts of it forward? Maybe you’ll do a shorter gathering next year, or a hybrid model.
- Use the momentum: if you enjoyed a solitary outing or new ritual, make a plan to incorporate it into future non-holiday times.
- If you felt emotional weight (grief, loneliness, change), consider reaching out to a professional or support network. Holidays often bring up deep feelings; addressing them makes the next year easier.
When you reflect, you turn the holiday into a stepping stone — not just one more date on the calendar.
Final Thoughts
Spending Christmas alone doesn’t mean the day must be mundane, lonely or “less than”. It can be different, yes — but it can also be purposeful, restorative, just for you. The seven strategies above—creating a ritual, connecting meaningfully, giving back, caring for yourself, reframing the narrative, trying something new, and reflecting for the future—offer a roadmap.
Remember: you are not wrong for being alone, and you don’t have to follow someone else’s script. Whether you choose to treat this Christmas as a quiet retreat, a creative solo adventure, or a gentle day of self-kindness, you have the freedom to shape it.
Here’s to a Christmas where you matter, you choose, and you feel less alone — on your terms. 🌟🕯
Sources & Further Reading
- WebMD — “What to Know About Loneliness During the Holidays”
- Sessions Health — “Alone for the Holidays: Coping with Loneliness” (Dec 2024)
- MS Focus / Multiple Sclerosis Foundation — “6 Ways to Be Alone, Not Lonely During the Holidays”
- Esther Perel blog — “Coping with Loneliness around the Holidays”
